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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you". Watch the latest videos on news, business, politics, sport, entertainment, technology, parenting and food from all around Australia and the world. Visit the.
July 2. 01. 5 - www. Welcome to stuttering Stanley. So winter is kind of totally sucking balls at the moment. Firstly, it's cold. Secondly, it's depressing.
Thirdly, all the other reasons you would expect from cold people. This is the worst time of the year.
Francis Greenslade, Actor: Shaun Micallef's Mad as Hell. Francis Greenslade was born on October 3, 1962 in Honiara, Solomon Islands. He is an actor and writer, known.
The following list of programs are currently broadcast by the Nine Network / 9HD, 9Go! 9Gem, 9Life and their regional affiliates, including Southern Cross Nine. Read the latest Radio News including radio breakfast shows news, ratings and gossip. Read more Entertainment and radio news at News.com.au.
Schapelle Corby, 38, (pictured) has reportedly been spending her time in Bali cooking and socialising with a group of friends including her former partner and fellow. Russell Kiefel, Actor: 'Breaker' Morant. Russell Kiefel was born in 1951 in Tully, Queensland, Australia. He was an actor and writer, known for Breaker Morant (1980. Are you Putin that documentary on? Russian president 'thinks House of Cards is a factual programme' Russia's leader advised aids to watch House of Cards to understand.
And boring. Its school holidays too so peak hour traffic has halved. It's just weird. But it could be worse.. I'm not fat. Wait.
Fuck. Nope I am. And I know you guys in the northern hemisphere are probably basking in glorious sunshine right now so from us to you - we hope it's too hot to enjoy. I shouldn't complain though as the year is practically over. Yes I realise its July. What I mean is that starting with next week shit begins to escalate. It starts with a birthday, family from interstate coming to stay, friends from overseas in town, then a few significant social events intertwined with some serious hours in front of the computer to hopefully give me enough buffer to enjoy time away come November which pretty much brings us through to Christmas and the New Year.
See? Done. Anyway.. I'm not going to force it today.
Most of what's been noteworthy in my week holds zero literary value so rather than waffle on incessantly without a point, let's instead cut to a big chunk of jokes and continue on with another ground- breaking update. Check it.. A lawyer calls his largest client to his office for an important meeting.
When he arrives, the lawyer says to the wealthy art collector client "I have some good news and some bad news". The client grumbles "I've had an awful day. Tell me the good news". Your wife invested $5,0. She believes they are worth at least $3 million". Well done!" the tycoon says with a big smile.
Good news indeed! You've made my day.
So what's the bad news?" "The two pictures are of you with your secretary".- -Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work.
God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out..
Smith said: Fuck I better hurry - they are burning!"- -Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly "Depends.." "Depends on what?" he asks. On my ass.. where else?!"- -A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the loo. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying "I spat in this beer, do not drink!" After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying "So did I!"- -A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man's body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over his head and he is covered from head to toe in hundreds of thousands of sprinkles. A puzzled onlooker asks the policeman what he thinks has happened, to which the policeman replies: "It looks like he's topped himself".- -There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette.
They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 5. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 1.
The brunette swam 2. The blonde swam 2. A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says "I'll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye".
The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it. He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender he can bite his other eye.
The bartender accepts knowing the man can't possibly have two glass eyes. The guy then proceeds by taking out his false teeth and biting his other eye.- -We live in Abbotsford British Columbia and my Missus decided for the first time to wear a burka for a week just to see what the reaction would be. The first morning she was sworn at, punched on the nose, kicked up the arse and received death threats.
Heaven knows what's going to happen when she leaves the house!- -A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies "Yes, caffeine.
I can't drink coffee". OK, have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes" he says "I was in Iraq for one tour". The interviewer says "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment".
Then he asks "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles". The interviewer grimaces and then says "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8am. You can start tomorrow at 1. Every day". The guy is puzzled and asks "If the work hours are from 8am to 4pm., why don't you want me here until 1.
This is a government job" the interviewer says. For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that".- -You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge. Watch The Scorpion King: Rise Of A Warrior Hindi Full Movie more. Yes" answered the suspect.
And what did you steal?" "One dress". One dress?" echoed the judge. But you admit breaking in four times!" "Yes, Your Honour" sighed the suspect. The first three times my wife didn't like the colour". Go. Pro Jedi. And Now Here Is A Jedi With A Gopro.
Thankfully A Jedi Hasn't Discovered A Selfie Stick. It Gets Real. Security Guard Fires Gun While Taking Camera Away From Guy At Court Meeting. Whose Side Are You On? Guy With Camera Or Guy With Gun?
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Greatness. I Expected Nothing From This But It Delivered Everything. For The Love Of God Do Yourself A Favour And Click This Link! GREAT Rack. Maitland Ward Finally Said “Fuck It! I’m Showing My Titties!!”, And She Did It By Wearing A Super Sheer Top While On Her Way To Comic- Con’s Crave Escape Party In San Diego! Coinhead. Your Name Is Mr Coinhead. You Like Collecting Coins.
All Ur Friends Think Ur A Freak. But U Don't Care. Ur The Coinhead. - Wonder Woman.
Claudia Romani Nip Slip During Wonder Woman Cartwheel - Simply Wow. Charlotte Mc. Kinney Not Wearing Much = Holy Fucking Shit Balls!! Bikey Mole. Bimbo Biker Bitch Gets Her Pierced Poon Drilled - Suck Shit. These Iranian Terrorists Apparently Don't Know Hot To Defuse An IED.
BANG! - Orgasms. Girls Cumming Like Guys Is Highly Entertaining - Umm Breakfast? You could throw a football in her asshole and hit nothing but net and today she's pushing the limits of pornography, breakfast, and ass sphincters all at the same time. Eggcellent. Part 5 Of This Better- Than- The- Real- Deal Rip Off Of Angry Birds - OG Mafia. Wounded Mafia Thug Is Shot In The Head By Another As His Friend Tries To Help Him - *cringe*At Least You Can Say You're Better Than This Guy - Uncouth. All This Time And We Just Thought Eye Crust Was Dried Mucus Forming Around Our Tear Ducts.. Turns Out It's Just Jizz From Homeless People. Aussie Babe. To The Rest Of The World This Aussie Girl Is Epically Hot..
Here She Is Just An Average Girl. Fit Bitch. Ariana Marie Comes Home To Fuck After A Morning Jog - Delinquent.